I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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