guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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