goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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