Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
