home. puking in laundry basket.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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