it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
