found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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