We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
