I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
