those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
