I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
try to milk me bitch
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