this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
