Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
