"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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