So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
