do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
But theres a keg here and me gusta
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
