I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
