girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
40s are totally the cure
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
