Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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