the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
