We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
