I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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