But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I am one with the molecules
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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