Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
