I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
