At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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