New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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