Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
