She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
