I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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