Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
