Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
