We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
