dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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