He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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