So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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