3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
