Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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