I need help removing her.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
