whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
