I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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