This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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