super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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