If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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