: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
