is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
