Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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