You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
