i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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