YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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